We have been dealing with our kids on the choices they make....more lately than ever. All of our kids are 10th grade level and up. They are young adults. No doubt about it...the choices they are making right now will affect them forever.
If they choose to sluff off in school and be lazy about homework and grades...they will not graduate. If they choose to smart mouth back at us as their parents and disrespect....they will lose privleges. It is a VERY simple concept.
Let's put this in adult perspective.....what choices are we making?
Very simple things to think about when it comes to making choices.....
thoughts....what are we dwelling on?
words....what are we saying?
actions....what are we doing?
It all starts with our thoughts. If we would just corral our thoughts....'meet them at the door', so to speak...we could avoid bad choices immediately!
God expects us to (2 Cor. 10:3-5) cast down negative thinking. Once we have done that...the choice is made.
I mean, let's get real here...I bet no one in prison for murder right now just got up one day in a normal everyday life and said..."hey, I think I'll kill someone today"....and not talking about an accident or something, but premeditated....ah ha!! There it is....premeditated....thought about before hand. Yep....our thoughts are vital!!
But if we keep thinking off line with the Word of God, then those thoughts start to shape what we are going to say and to do. It ALL starts with the Word and what we decide to do with it.
I really don't know why this is what I am blogging about, except that we have been dealing with some things with our kids and it has been on my mind about how simple choices can change everything FOREVER.
(Just a disclaimer here....I am not talking about literal life & death...actually watching someone die when you could have prevented it...that is NOT what I am referring to here....)Another thing I need to say here and you can judge this for yourselves....sometimes when you see a child, friend, etc...heading straight for the 'train wreck'...and you are doing all you can to stop them......nothing you say seems to matter.....they are going to do what THEY want no matter what....
.....sometimes you gotta let them fall....just be sure you are there to help clean up the mess when they do.....and not being an "I told you so"...but just being loving and quiet. Believe me....when someone hits the ground because of stubborn refusal to obey or listen, there is NO need for you to remind them that you told them so.....that in itself may be enough.
Seeing someone you love headed for disaster and there is NOTHING you can do about it is one of the most painful experiences in our lives, harsh and unbearable....
I am still learning along these lines....I may be off some, but I have gotten tired of beating my head against the wall sometimes....
So true...we have been talking about this a lot with our 13 year old son, especially in regard to the girl he likes (I refuse to call her his girlfriend...they are TOO YOUNG!) Anyway, we have been going through much of the same especially when one of his peers ended up getting his girlfriend pregnant. We had a LONG discussion about choices they could have made differently, not being alone without a chaperone, not going past a certain line of physical touch, etc. I HATE talking about this now but what do you do? I also agree about just letting them fall sometimes. I have learned some of my best lessons by suffering through the results of a long fall! Thanks for sharing...good luck!
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts about our choices & learning to let others live with the consequences of their choices. My oldest is 12 so I am listening and gleaning from your insight -- how wise to apply what we see in others and apply it to ourselves. Thank you for insights. Thoughtful. I like it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that I'm not the only one with a sore head from the banging. I totally agree with you that sometimes we need to let our kids fail for them to realize what they're doing. I've had arguments with friends over this believe. As long as the choice they are making is not going to be physically harmful, I think you need to let them fall. I tell my kids often that life isn't fair. That's a painful reality we must all. It's how we choose to face that reality that will show our strength in the end.
ReplyDeleteMy girls are very young so I'm not quite there with you yet, but I had worked with youth (totally different than parenting them obviously) and you're right, sometimes we just do our best, and let them make the call. And we simply have to continue loving on them. I just finished a little book by Ruth Graham called Blessings for a Mother's Day and just have to take comfort in knowing that even when it seems our kids have gone astray, the Lord is faithful in bringing them back in His own time and circumstances. That Franklin Graham was quite the 'rebel with a cause'. Have you read his book? Oh boy, the grief he gave his parents. Anyhow, I trust that the Lord's hand will be upon this matter.
ReplyDelete